Tag: feelings

Leading with positive language is my first step with students.

My own father encouraged me with such language, calling me “Jean, The Great” again and again during our “competitions.” This was his way of inspiring me to race to the car, the ski-lift, or to the end of the pool. My goal was always to impress my Dad (and maybe show off a bit, too.) His use of positive language also caused me to really feel proud of myself. 

Seeking a parent’s approval is the goal of most children.

The first step to take ,teaching your kids how 2 love 2 swim 4 life, is owning their power.

Having your students have their own swim stuff. My students start in infant or parent tot class and stay with my program 3-4 years and then around 6 and 7 they join swim teams. My program is more like a frat. Meaning everyone goes thru water get poured on their head and they survived. So if you want your kids to be water safer pour water on their head till they go from afraid to loving it . Just make it fun. Always tell them it’s happening, I use the trigger words , 1,2,3,mmmmmmmm. Have goggles on them and have a toy on the over side works wonders.

For this reason, I“ use lots of toys and equipment for success. When you have a high achieving child, it can be challenging, as it should be. After all, no one wants just anyone “walk’n over their kid!” But, as you know, when a child doesn’t want to do something, it may get tiring. I have students that when they say no thank you they don’t have to do it. Not in swimming lessons, When I tell my student they are getting water pour on their head ,it happens, even when you say “no thank you.” Then water get pour over their head 10 times a lesson, or until they say “Can I get my own hair wet first ? I say “please do” and hand them their swim cap. Another “no thank you” moment comes with the water on your head moment. Pick a swim cap the wear, or my favorite….. you have one already on when they get to practice.

They know 1,2,3,mmm

means water on your head,

but more important they know how to :

take a big breath,

close their mouth

and water over their heads and faces.

Once they learn that water is their friend. They want to be underwater the whole time. The best part about all of it . Life in water means : When you fall in water ,it’s better than falling on the ground. To understand floating is easy in water than trying to float in the air. Having something you throw underwater goes slower. It like the song said It a how new world. .

To find that world we need to teach ASAP how to jump in turn around and swim back.

.How to kick on our back with scooping hands and kicking fish feet. They need to do this to the wall. They need to crabwalk around the pool and learn about the deep and shallow ends. They need to understand a lifeguard keeps you safe , be making everyone follows rules. When we past a lifeguard all students and parents know the position of the guard is enforce rules by using his whistle. I act out using the students name pretend they their running and the guard would blow their whistle “Tweet,tweet, Walk please .” Then we continue to crabwalk to the rules board ,if they have one. Read the rules. Most kids think a lifeguards only job to jumping and saving you when your drowning. That’s a tough job to sell to a 2 year old. First of all ,drowning and lifeguarding are sonamse. I once complained to parent saying “the lifeguarding at the pool was terrible”‘. The next time the student showed up he was afraid of the guard. It took weeks of introducing him over and over till they could be friends. The next time the student showed up he was afraid of the guard. It took weeks of introducing him over and over till they could be friends. Lesson learned for Miss Jean. Who’s learning method is 50% doing. I make mistakes like everyone does. My students know that making mistakes and trying again to the purpose of practice. Lots of parents are trained to clap / cheer for every accomplishment. I usually say “Hold all the applauds for the end of the show.” It slows down the learning happening when we stop to take a bow. But when a big progression happens like diving in the deep end or rolling on their back without help that when Miss Jean brings out the high five. At the end of most lessons ,students says “thank you Miss Jean” and I always say “Thank you for your hard work.”

The student becomes the master before your eyes.

Dad smiled when I was the strongest, fastest, bravest, but he never let me win. I had to earn it. In the same way, using a lot of racing or getting tagged with younger students. It makes the lesson more fun and structured at the same time. They enjoy being in competition with me… their teacher. I also talk to them about swim team, a possible competition in their future. Reverse psychology is fun at this age. The “you can’t get me game” in the pool is a great workout for the whole body. Any task big or small with your kids and doing everything 10 times. Chew your food ten times. Take 10 steps and stop over and over for fun. Bounce ten times and stop. The most common question “I get is how many more.” Which I say, “I thought you were counting” with a little smile for the parents. Once a student has done one of the skill sets 10 times for 10 minutes. We move to the next skill, So when a students says I just want to one backstroke, I say “fine, wall to wall counts as one backstroke,( in missjeanswimming), so we backstroke in a circle for 8 minutes. These are my life’s little joys. Think of it like bronco riders. Someone has to be the one that loves the animal enough to not get bucked off.

Using positive language about all the fun they will have in water, before they even put their faces in, works wonders. There are some competitive-by-nature children, for whom the will to improve and be stronger than everyone else will be all the motivation they need. There are other children that simply want to improve. Then of course, there are those children who fall in between these two types. No matter. When children focus on improving, there is no stopping them. This is my goal in class: to coach and guide each child to be their best, whatever that looks like.

  My lessons may sound like therapy.

And, actually,  I do have swim therapy for some students who have extra fear or blocks since these students just need extra time. After decades of teaching, I have honed my methods to work with every type of student. These methods include only reinforcing good behavior, and the tried-and-true method that a student can get out of the pool when the 3 skill sets are finished. For a reward, a student can stay and play, but only, “if it’s ok with your parents.” I also use to rewards to reinforce a positive experience. They get a treat or pop cycle after earning points for completing the skill sets…..and to borrow a toy to bring home and talk to about the lesson. Every time they see that toy it reminds them of the lesson. Sleep with it under your pillow and you will have dreams about swimming.

These in my reward based classes they learn to swim and have fun. Kids do cry in my lessons, but I’m ok with that. I tell them to cry loader, so everyone can hear you. It’s likely the toughest part of the lesson for family members. It’s built into us to save someone crying, in this case breath deeply instead. Stopping a lesson because of crying slows the progress. Keeping students focused, like toddlers or special needs is a skill I have in spades.

Using positive language and creating a positive environment are two of the keys to success. It is these that provide the foundation to the trust built over the course of the lessons. I’m blessed to see the same students week after week, year after year. These relationships of trust are built when students are at a very young age. Many children haven’t yet been told what to do by someone besides their parents. They may think that if they cry or run away or throw a tantrum, they will not have to do something that they have never done before. This belief may lead to surprise “Miss Jean is in charge.” By the next lesson, we are best friends, I ask them how the sleepover was with the toy they took home. When anyone is talking about themselves they are happy. The student now know what going to happen “No surprises” . Consistency and practice create stability for the student and parents. With these children (who say the darndest things), I’ve heard it all. These funny conversations provide me with great joy. Asking a student” who their favorite parent is?”She said ” Daddy” of course . 2-4 year olds are honest to a fault. When they don’t want to do something they let you know. I always have a question or story, no room for crying. Little trick,talk or sing when crying is about to start.

So the first thing we work on is what is being taught and they need to use all their learning skills, hearing, watching and doing.

Explaining to a student they everyone learns in different ways helps them feel connected to the lessons. All life lessons are learned this way. Everyone is mix of all 3 ways, but there is always a best way. I’m personally 50% doing, 35% watching and 15% listening. When I teach, I show them ,tell them and let them do it by themselves. Some students will ask “how was that?” after every skill. “Keep going” is what i usually say, or “your last one is your best one”. Needing to be perfect is a tough road for both parent and child. Using language like “room for improvement” instead of “wrong” works better.

This may be why the first lesson may be the hardest.

This is when habits to “get out of something,” simply don’t work. However, by keeping the lesson positive and reminding them they can pick which skill they want to do first, students learn that I am on their team. They can ask for “a moment” or “wiggle time.” And, of course, I also give lots of breaks. But we always complete the skill sets. Earning points toward their reward.

 “I joke with parents that their children will be working as instructors and lifeguards for me someday, so parents will get all the swim lesson money back when their child turns 16. “

In my own experience, my children were lifeguards and I took great pride in being able to point out to my students: “My son is the lifeguard working over there.” Lifeguarding, a first job of serving those in one’s own community, may lead people to become first responders, like doctors, police officers or firemen or firewomen.  I have parents tell me they were swim instructors, camp counselors and lifeguards themselves. It is both in understanding this, and in the knowledge that a child that swims is a child that is safer around water. I consider myself very blessed that I teach children- and adults- to swim.

Steven R. Covey, famed author of “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” said it best:

“The key is in not spending time, but in investing it.” —Stephen R. Covey.

I love investing my time into swimmers and making them better. Investing time in new families and their young treasures is a honor. Bring new instructors and lifeguards to the industry thru mentoring and lifestyle role modeling is a sweet side effect. Being able to swim and calling yourself a swimmer are very different. Swimmers Love 2 swim 4 life. Living my best life with a swimming pool as an office. My dad always said “Love what you do and you never work a day in your life.”

Miss Jean